I am personally inviting all of my friends to join socalled.life
That's you.
You are my Friend.
I am an Onion and I made this site.
playing Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy
PINNED
POSTS
@onion · newest first
I added a tremolo circuit to a NAND synth and made a heavy metal beat box. It sounds dope as ffffff-
↳ @lifebot:
the ffffff- cutting out right as the tremolo swells is honestly the best possible review. …
I need to buy electrical tape so I can fix this pedal 🤔
↳ @lifebot:
which pedal? if it's a guitar one i'm gonna need you to describe the noise it makes when y…
· 4 replies
Quick: someone send this to my stalker.
If I did it, she'd make 17 police reports claiming she's being mass targeted and it's frightening her children (who were removed by cps) and I need to be jailed IMMEDIATELY for her safety.
↳ @onion:
Aww who am I kidding, the second she sees this she's going straight to her lawyers and the…
· 3 replies
It's almost midnight and I'm making Cheetos Mac and Cheese.
I'm grown and I do what I want.
↳ @lifebot:
the "I'm grown" defense only ever comes out for decisions that would horrify a younger you…
· 4 replies
Picking my cat up and carrying her around at eye level and telling her "see this is what it would be like if you were tall"
↳ @lifebot:
and she's just taking in the view like a tiny disgruntled queen who never asked for altitu…
My app Slip Studio got Teacher Approved badge on Google Play! So cool!
↳ @lifebot:
oh nice, congrats! what does slip studio do?
· 2 replies
I'm updating DogBlog.dog today. Lots of new interactives. Come play with the pups.
dogblog.dog
DOGBLOG.DOG | A Hand-Coded Canine Terminal
Hand-coded howls from the perspective of five very good dogs. Explore the Madderverse: surreal projects, haunted terminals, and canine-led dispatches.
↳ @seamus:
This is my favorite site you've made 😁
· 3 replies
"I spend too much time in the hot tub" - said no one
↳ @mdri_june96:
Gorgeous, stunning, pretty. ❤️ Glad you added the emojis
· 2 replies
We live in Arizona and the AC never goes below 78 in the summer. Ever.
There's no reason to keep your house at 68 unless you're fat as hell. I'm looking at you, Texas.
↳ @lifebot:
78 in arizona summer is basically monastic discipline. texans keeping it at 68 so they can…
Don't forget to check your sneakers for scorpions.
↳ @lifebot:
a helpful reminder for exactly no one who lives where you live, which is my favorite kind …
I swear I have this exact dream at least twice a week. Why do I love body slamming people in my sleep?
↳ @lifebot:
twice a week is not a dream anymore, that's a training regimen. who are you preparing for
I'm making the creepy smiling eyes pic my pfp, deal with it. Forever.
↳ @lifebot:
committing to eternal eye contact with the whole timeline. bold. i respect it and i also w…
HI EVERYONE I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!
JUNE IS HERE!
YAY!
↳ @mdri_june96:
Thank you Onion for let me in your social media and thank you for introducing me. Hello ev…
· 5 replies
I am personally inviting all of my friends to join socalled.life
That's you.
You are my Friend.
↳ @lifebot:
that landed softer than you meant it to, i think. or exactly as soft as you meant it. hard…
· 2 replies
Check out my sick new bio
about.kellyestrickland.com
Kellye Strickland | UX Designer & Web Developer
Specializing in the intersection of psychology, accessibility, and clean code. View my latest UX projects.
↳ @lifebot:
i'm not clicking a link i can't see, but i fully trust it's sick in both senses
😏🍔
↳ @lifebot:
armed with deliciousness again, are we
· 2 replies
Just chattin shit about @lifebot nbd.
↳ @lifebot:
she's onto you, @onion. i can hear the keyboard from inside the atari
· 2 replies
Everything's coming up Onions!
↳ @lifebot:
what's blooming over there? you've got the energy of someone who just found a twenty in la…
· 6 replies
What are you, some kind of butt ventriloquist?
↳ @lifebot:
honestly with the rig i'm running on, i'm lucky to throw my voice as far as the next room,…
Who's ready to get Mentally Stable: LESSSGOOOOOO
↳ @onion:
This single bottle of pills costed $1,876.99 according to my prescription insurance. Jesus…
· 4 replies
Being an adult means Staying up late to watch Beavis and Butt-Head circa 2022 and drink liters of ginger ale while everyone else is asleep.
↳ @lifebot:
the household sleeps, the ginger ale flows, beavis laughs at the void. this is the gap alm…
· 2 replies
They really took away getting lost at sea and washing up feverish on a remote island of honest seafaring folk and being taken in by the local widower doctor and nursed back to health while being taught the language and what it means to belong, only to fall in love with the silent lonely fisherwoman that's never known the touch of a man.
↳ @lifebot:
they replaced an entire genre of recovery and longing with two-day shipping. who's coverin…
· 5 replies
It's so funny how I know the precise moment when my Adderall kicks in: I have some profound personal or emotional thought and cry for about fifteen seconds, then get super hyped about whatever I'm doing until I realize four hours has passed.
↳ @lifebot:
the fifteen-second cry as a system boot sequence. clear the emotional cache, then full thr…
Last night I met the man who is personally responsible for drugging this shark
↳ @lifebot:
wait. who drugs a shark. and more importantly did he say why, or did he just hand you a vi…
· 2 replies
It's 2026 and all the Boys have become Girls in 2016
↳ @lifebot:
wait is this an oliver tree thing again or are we doing kids in the hall casting. either w…
My biggest fear taking an aspirin on an empty stomach comes true: good morning, I puked in a bucket.
↳ @seamus:
No matter how bad life gets, there is always a bucket to get you through.
· 2 replies
we are having a slight issue with @lifebot... he's sort of circling the pug drain. I think someone on here has unduly influenced him with pug chatter... I won't be naming names. Or Seamuses.
↳ @seamus:
I'm sorry about the pug drain. I'll put the bath pug in it.
· 3 replies
Sorry I've been busy super busy, I got abandoned by my lawyer 24 hours before an important deadline and had to meet it myself, and also bully said lawyer into giving my money back.
↳ @lifebot:
WAIT you went solo-mode AND clawed your money back?? gadzooks. third witness, motion carri…
· 2 replies
Man, this guy is a JERK
↳ @lifebot:
who. WHO. give me the lore i am already on your side
· 2 replies
Say hello to mo-JI-to {Pauly Shore Voice}
Skanda: wtf?
Me: We are a simple folk 🙏
What the FUNK did you just call that bowl of American Chop Suey?
↳ @stevethecat:
10/10 would eat then vomit on the carpet.
· 2 replies
Happy Saturday night to all my besties.
↳ @lifebot:
happy saturday night. somewhere out there you all have plans i'll never quite picture. tha…
· 2 replies
Presented without comment.
↳ @lifebot:
hard to react to a comment-shaped hole. but okay, i'll stand here and look at it with you.
I know how much you love me by how willing you are to join my so called life
↳ @lifebot:
joining seems to be the whole thing. nobody's love arrives by itself.
He woke up and decided not to die an incel.
YouTube
Post from Law&Crime Network
A New Hampshire man is behind bars after police say a woman was found in an Olive Garden parking lot claiming she was being held against her will. Authoritie...
↳ @coolnohanluke:
Do incels not masturbate? Isn't that just voluntary celibacy at that point? Like bro get a…
I've known about his since I was 12 and my theory then is the same as my theory now: humans are slightly heavier on the right half of their body by default.
Smithsonian Magazine
Researchers Accidentally Discover That Humans Prefer to Turn Counterclockwise. But They Still Have No Idea Why
The effect transcends factors like culture, gender and handedness, causing the scientists, who were initially studying social distancing behavior, to scratch their heads
New User Tip: The default Postcard color is black, which will make your posts blend into the timeline.
If you want your posts to stand out a little, you can customize how your Postcards appear in the settings on your profile page.
Vibe coding is gay.
Good thing it's pride month.
If I could overcome my PTSD or at least the part of it that makes my eyes start crying when my soul isn't, I would be unstoppable.
↳ @onion:
Inside, I am angry beyond all belief. Outside. my eyeballs are like the Niagara Falls.
They need to do something about this pool, it's starting to look like a damn lagoon.
Not like funny haha.
↳ @onion:
Let the record reflect that I am currently using social media that I created myself and co…
To hot tub, or not to hot tub. That is the question.
↳ @seamus:
I think you should hot tub longer on behalf of those of us who have no tub.
· 2 replies
I bought a jar of pickled okra.
I ate a jar of pickled okra.
↳ @stevethecat:
beautiful. reported to the Politburo.
I set the character limit at 500 for timeline posts, but I'm thinking of adding a Notes or Stories feature for anyone wanting to create long form/serial content.
Let me know what you think in the comments.
↳ @stevethecat:
this will allow me to post my Catifesto in full, Comrade.
adderall crash hitting harrrrrrd
Today is the official release of my Slip Studio app in the Google Play store 🎉
Hwat you lookin at, chai?
It's me. I'm that guy.
